4 Signs That a Man’s Ready for Marriage — and 4 That He’s Not

His Oat-Sowing Days Are Over

According to John Malloy, author of Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others, which details the results of a survey of 2,500 men, the singles scene no longer appeals to a man who is ready to marry. Malloy interviewed men from ages 17 to 70 who were about to marry; all admitted they felt increasingly out of place in the bars, pool halls and dance clubs that were once their favorite hangouts.

He’s Financially Independent

Tina Tessina, Ph.D., a California psychotherapist, explains, “Men do have a biological clock, but their timing is different from women. Most men’s priorities tend to be focused on winning financial security before having a family. If he’s still struggling to pay his bills, he’s not going to want to add the burden of supporting a wife.” To take it further, the man you’re looking for is a grown-up

– someone who can be counted on. He’s able to commit to a job, not to mention family and friends. On the romantic front, even if he’s not ready to wed right away, he’s at least able to discuss the concept of commitment.

He’s Discovered His Desire
to Be a Dad

Carol Morgan, a Boca Raton matchmaker (www.carolmorgan.com), observes, “He’s ready for marriage when he stares longingly at kids and suggests you would have beautiful children.” [Editor's note: I'll say!] If your man isn’t as straightforward , take a cue from John Malloy, who says, “Most men want to be young enough to teach their sons to fish and play ball and do the male-bonding thing.” His research has found that age can have a great effect on a man’s attitude toward marriage. Most college-educated men don’t consider marriage as a serious possibility until age 26. In fact, they enter a phase of high commitment between the ages of 28 and 33. Men who’ve gone on to graduate school

– doctors, lawyers, etc. — hit their commitment-peak phase during ages 30 to 36. But Malloy says that once a single man hits 37, the chances that he’ll marry start to fade. And after his 43rd birthday, he’ll probably remain a bachelor for life.

He’s Your Boyfriend in Name — Your Husband in Spirit

April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League, explains, “When a man is ready to become a husband

– your husband — he starts acting like a husband. For instance, he will make plans for the future, introduce you to his friends and family, and not only call you daily but want to tell you the details of his day and have a desire to hear about yours.”

Not Marriage Material If He:

• Says he has no interest in
  tying the knot.

  Instead of trying to change his mind, believe him and move on.

• Buys a Porsche.

  Or other high-end items that no man saving up for a ring or a future would purchase. Carol Morgan says, “If he acts financially immature and irresponsible, he’s thinking ‘me,’ not ‘we.’”

• Calls his married friends “losers.”

  If he wants to couple up, he considers a man and a woman building a future together beautiful, not pathetic.

• Continually makes you cry.

  And they’re not tears of happiness. If he’s unreliable, abusive, a liar, cheat and/or uber-flirt, divorce yourself from this relationship before it takes a trip to court to do so.